Joe Burrow did the impossible this year when he somehow found a way to guide his Cincinnati Bengals into the Super Bowl.
Two offseasons ago the Bengals were 2-14 and looked to be embarking on a rebuild that would span multiple seasons. When Burrow suffered his disastrous knee injury, the timeline looked it would double.
And yet here we are.
Now only has Burrow shined as a quarterback to the tune of an NFL-leading 70.4 completion percentage and 8.9 yards per pass attempt, but he has also instilled a swagger in the Bengals that they were previously lacking.
Just look at how the guy dresses. Immense confidence.
As it turns out, Burrow doesn’t just kill it on the field. He is an all-time great off it as well.
In a tipster message to deuxmoi, a well-renowned celebrity gossip Instagram account, the tale of Burrow’s superior bedroom prowess was shared in all its glory:
That’s Joe Brr, aka Joe Shiesty, aka Joey Franchise, aka Joe Cool, aka Smoking Joe aka The Tiger King for you. The man never misses. He always delivers.
That would certainly explain why Burrow’s girlfriend, Olivia Holzmacher, is always so happy and excited in her photos. Seriously, look at any of the photos she is in. It’s always the same story.
And it would also explain why adult film stars are now throwing themselves at Burrow.
Big picture, Burrow’s status as an up-and-coming legend is etched in stone at this point. It doesn’t really matter whether he can lead the Bengals past the Rams at or not. He has already far exceeded expectations.
The video speaks for itself. https://t.co/lRniycVCSO
— Game 7 (@game7__) February 2, 2022
For the next decade, barring something crazy happening, the NFL belongs to Burrow. Here’s to hoping he doesn’t make the same mistakes as King that Patrick Mahomes did.
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A longtime sports reporter, Carlos Garcia has written about some of the biggest and most notable athletic events of the last 5 years. He has been credentialed to cover MLS, NBA and MLB games all over the United States. His work has been published on Fox Sports, Bleacher Report, AOL and the Washington Post.
